So the intention expressed in my last post did not take shape immediately. I actually did not practice yoga, not even the body scan on day 21. I just felt overwhelmed by the food making and other small tasks of the evening. I wanted more time to prepare the yoga. It did not happen either on the next day; another difficult day of general procrastination, self-beating, and tiredness. Then Thursday came and I decided to do things differently; instead of pressing myself to get in front of the computer and work, work, work until I am done, I allowed myself to follow my desire to have a walk in a park. The weather was beautiful, the city pretty quiet as most people are gone on holidays and tourists are not out exploring yet at 10 in the morning, so I had a slow walk among the trees, the green grass and the sculptures of Kongens Have. Apart from a couple of joggers, few early visitors taking pictures and some people sunbathing, I enjoyed a very calm wandering in the alleys, listening to Pema Chödrön’s “Getting Unstuck”, her wise words and the atmosphere certainly contributed to this feeling of happiness and freedom that I felt during those instants and perdured for a couple of hours.
In the evening, I decided to try the yoga sequence described in the book. I looked online for a video, and found this one. The sequence is not exactly similar to the one explained in Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book, but it was close enough (there was a mean boat pose in the middle of it that awakened my poor aching abs from recent workouts!). I felt as if I could have stayed for a body scan after it, but decided against it, as I wanted to observe if there would be any difference of impact on my sleep quality. I slept very well for the few hours I slept, and my dreams were certainly entertaining! On Saturday I practiced yoga again (but zapped the body scan on Friday, it was a very similar day to Wednesday, typical of my getting stuck in procrastination). This time I decided to try the audio track from UCSD, as I found it difficult to focus on the breath as much as I would have like with the video format. I got pretty surprised by the high speed of the audio instructions, I had difficulties keeping up when trying to figure out what the guide meant at times! As I am clearly not satisfied by those two possibilities, I will try to take some notes from the book, and do things at my own rhythm.
I have started observing pleasant events, and I am glad to be able to write that there was at least one to reflect on everyday! Some of the days I have also been aware that I should pay attention to those pleasant moments, and it surely helped creating some! I’m back to my sitting meditation. 15 mn Friday, 20 mn Saturday. I can see that I am now used to the shorter meditations, after what must correspond to 10 mn I grow impatient to hear the bell ring. I practiced in the morning on Friday, and 15 mn felt totally manageable. On Saturday evening, I felt an annoying pain in the neck nearly just after I had started. I have experienced that a couple of times when meditating, it’s probably due to posture problems, so usually I just change position, move my head in all directions until it feels better. This time I decided to stay with this pain. There was a lot of pressure on what feels like the place where the neck and the skull meet. Then the pain shifted to a lower level, to come actually to the front. I wanted it to go away but I didn’t do anything else than observing it and wishing to go away. I consciently moved my spine in different directions, tried to stick my navel to the spine, and then the pain subsided. It was so strange, I had felt it quite strongly for more than 10 minutes, and it suddenly disappeared.